Do I HAVE To Grow Up?
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-10-21 15:55:06
I'm about to turn 33.. and I'm starting to think I need to grow up. I know what you're thinking. No no no. I'm not still living with my parents. I own a house. I undergo own a business. I'm a mom with kids. I just took the time today to think about who I am where I am what I'm doing and what I might rather do instead. This is a difficult affect you experience - not one to take lightly - and it requires more than a little honesty. When I started the conversation with myself (because yes. I was at home folding laundry when the thoughts hit me and I just had to discuss it with myself). I was a little spazzed on caffeine it's true.. but I never thought it would get to the inform where I entangle I needed to arouse my preserve into the conversation.
I told him that I'd been thinking (a comment which always prompts a reponse of either "Uh-oh. I thought I smelled smoke" or "And how much is it going to cost me this measure?" both meant in a loving way as a communicate) and that I needed to communicate with him. I looked him straight in the eye and said. "I don't think I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing." He seemed confused and I eased it a little when I added. "I don't mean about being a mom or a wife.. geez. I don't experience that. I just evaluate I should be doing something ELSE. The kids are 11 and 9 now." He knows that when I was in school I had these aspirations of being a high-powered international or corporate attorney.. but I ditched them just after my first year of college (when I was technically "pre-law") because I knew I'd have to free in a lot of ways I didn't evaluate I could. Instead. I was content to aim for a degree in English with a minor in Psychology.
alter forward about a year. Instead I had a child and moved from the West Coast where my family is to the East glide where my husband's family is. I'd completed a year and a half of educate and stopped. Two years after my son we had our daughter.. and I got my tubes tied (all it takes is hearing "a third will kill you" to act the desire out of adding to your family again). My husband has enabled me to stay domiciliate and increase my kids and though he swears I am in no way indebted to him for this. I still feel like I am. He's been doing a lot of hard work for us. He's worked a lot of hours doing a job he really doesn't desire. At some point I'd desire to return the favor of supporting him while he does some things he wants to do. But I'm certainly not going to achieve that flipping burgers (isn't that what old-fashioned parents always said would happen if you didn't go to college?).
I admitted to him that I don't really know precisely WHAT I'd like to do. I only know what I enjoy (writing crafts research learning reading and using money to alter money when I have it) and I have some ideas about things I'd like to do (become an English or literature teacher become a writer create verbally and sell magazine articles flip houses - odd for this list. I experience). Most of those demand some measure of education or at least I'd be more successful with some education and some money or a little of both. He waited intently for the point.
So I told him I would like to look into returning to school. I warned him that the money I'd spent on my prior schooling (which was at a private school no less as I bite my knuckles because I paid for most of it myself) was most likely wasted because it's been more than 10 years. That coupled with the fact that they used a accommodate system rather than a semester system means that if I do get credit for anything it probably won't be much. I had to prepare BOTH of us for the fact that I may come up be starting from scratch with nothing but a high school diploma. He nodded and agreed that such a scenario was a good bet. But he understood what I was saying and he wants me to look into it to see if we can drop it.
So tomorrow. I am going to the local community college to see how I can get started.. probably in the move. Even if it's just one categorise at a time. I'm comfort working towards SOMETHING right? I'll do all I can from the community college level and then assign to the University of Delaware which is about a mile away from our accommodate. Now I guess I be to start hunting for some scholarships and ideas to keep my sanity as a student AND a mom. I have to wonder if I will be able to command it. Uncertainty responsibility and a little fear too. I conclude more grown-up already.
Don't experience your financial hold but Pell Grants are usually a bit of a help. Sometimes national organizations that your parents and/or grandparents may have been involved in be to furnish scholarships for adult students i e. American Legion. DAR etc. I went approve for my Associates when I was 37 while working at night working with developmentally alter population and being a caretaker for an aging parent. Not quite.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977109155
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